Teenage Girls!!

Oh my what have I got myself into. Last year my cousin who was 13 came to live with us. She was placed with us as a foster child do to an unstable home. Here we are a 13 year old girl who has never had a stable home or much supervision and Mike and I who has always been alone just the 2 of us with no kids.

Well she has been with us just over a year now and wow what a ride it has been. When she came here she had missed 40+ days of school in 4 months and was caring all F's in school. Now a year later she is graduating 8th grade with only C's and above. She has participated in basketball, volleyball, and track. she is also enjoying CAP (Civil Air Patrol) and is competing in their color guard. She has come such a long way and we are very proud of her.

However its not always peaches and cream. Danielle likes to push her boundaries just when she has been good and beginning to earn our trust again... BAM... a slap in the face. I know most teenagers are like this but I just don’t understand...crying that we don't trust her then coming home 2 days later finding her alone in the house with her boyfriend. To make matters worst she was grounded at the time. I know she is a good kid and most of the time I feel I can trust her but boy she sure has a funny way of showing us we can trust her judgments.

The one thing I have learned that helps the most is to not give in, when you give a punishment no matter what happens stick with it. You let it go once and its so hard to get the kid to take you seriously next time. She thinks she won and there was no consequences for what she had done. It does not matter how good they have been for the past 3 days if you told them grounded for a week then it should be a week not 4 or 5 days. I tell her when she wants off early that yes you have been very good and helpful and I appreciate it but you were punished for what you did and you had the choice to do it, however now you need to take your consequences. I have been very adamant about reminding her that the choices she makes are hers, however if she uses poor judgment then she has to take what happens. She grounded herself, I did not make her do this or that, I guide her and she chooses what way to go, I am here teach her what I can, good from bad but ultimately the final decision is hers.

I really believe this way of handling her is working, she really thinks before she does things now. She still gets into trouble and makes poor decisions however they are hers to make. My job is to make sure she learns from her mistakes and I hope one day she will thank me.